Noncompetitive behavior is the new Cool.

Phil the Pill Trying to Stay in College Edition. Today’s brief topic is:

The FTC investigating Apple and Google for violating the Clayton Antitrust Act. Both Google and Apple’s board share members – Eric Schmidt and Arthur Levinson. At the end of the day, it probably won’t be a big deal — but the board members may have to resign from one of the companies.

To get some insight into this, let’s turn to our Corporate Ethics expert, the Mac Guy. What do you think, Mac Guy?

“Hey, man, why is the FTC getting so bent out of shape? It’s Apple. It’s not like you’re dealing with Steve Ballmer here. I mean, that guy is a proven crook. You can tell by the fact that he wears ties. And why would Apple ever do anything against competition? Apple would soundly beat anyone in a straight competition – and it would look cool doing it. For the past six years Apple has been directly competing with Microsoft by selling $2800 prosumer computers and mocking $800 laptop PCs. And they won! They are now officially considered cooler. That’s how you win a competition. But, I digress. Apple doesn’t want anything to do with Google, man. Those guys are ****ing scary. I suspect those board members aren’t even humans, man. They’re the real prototype for the Google Android. Google is keeping tabs on Apple and if there’s anything fishy going on, it’s their doing. But even if Apple and Google were collaborating, what’s the big deal, man? They’re both hip. They’re both cool. I mean, don’t you want to get with the YouTunes movement? And hey, with Google iPirate, you’ll be able to get any Microsoft software for free. And if you combine the iPhone and the Andorid, you get an Autobot, no lie….Whoa, man. I don’t WANT the FTC to get involved in this. This would be wicked sweet. Only lamers would oppose antitrusts. Unless Microsoft is involved. Then it’s obviously illegal and unethical and an example of the Man trying to screw the Consumer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to pay my Macbook Battery tax. I’ve got 15 minutes before my battery is programmed to explode.”

Disclaimer: I love my Macbook. Please don’t take it away from me, Apple.

Also, a word on Justice Souter retiring…Hispanic woman justice, woot woot?