March 14th In AWWVR (A world we vaguely recognize)

I’m standing in the middle of Clarendon with The Man With the Cool Jeans.

I am surrounded by idiots.

The Man with the Cool Jeans, let’s call him Violet, gives me a probing look, sensing my displeasure. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

I tell him that I feel that I’m surrounded by idiots.

Next to me, a girl with well-dyed mauvish-brown hair stumbles over a rolling beer can and pukes into a gutter. The two fratty guys next to her start hollering in amusement.

“Do you feel like you’re better than them?”

I grimace.

“N…Yeah. I dunno.”

“HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!” screams a man with dark brown skin dressed from head to toe in a Statue of Liberty outfit. He aims a cannon at Violet and I. Violet runs out of the line of fire, but I’m too slow.

I am suddenly covered in a cloud of green, tiny crabs. They are pinching me. Pinching me. Pinching me.

THINGS I ACCOMPLISHED TODAY:

Burned 410 calories on a stationary bike.

THINGS I ACCOMPLISHED THIS PAST WEEK:

– Went to a doctor, and kind of got a physical. My blood pressure is normal.

PROFESSIONAL GOALS

PERSONAL GOALS

I sent a girl a message on OK Cupid.

I’m meeting my college friends this weekend.

Here’s what I want to write–

I want to write —

*static*

*signal cuts out*