Two Laws that the Reddits Say will Usher in Armageddon [In the News]

There’s less than two weeks left in 2011 and, if all goes according to schedule, a little over a year before the collapse of modern civilization. Right on cue, the United States Congress is hastening America’s descent into tyrannical crapsack fallen Empire with two laws that could potentially infringe on our civil liberties and worse, fuck up the Internet. But some of us may not have noticed, because it’s Christmas and we’re trying to find the best deal on the iPad 2.

But you know who did notice? Reddit.

For the uninitiated, the Reddit community is like that one really annoying conspiracy theorist friend who “reads a lot” and looks at really weird porn. And he has it on very good authority that the Illuminati shadow government has implanted a tracking chip in all of our wrists. But also, they still bother with pesky laws and sham elections.

(To be fair, Reddit is actually a huge umbrella forum representing a variety of viewpoints and personalities. There’s just a running joke/observable phenomenon related to the “hive mind” that tends to be most visible in top posts and comments.)

Well, Reddit’s really up-in-arms about these bills that have been worming their way through Congress: SOPA and the NDAA.

The one that poses the most clear and present danger to the Redditor lifestyle is SOPA, which is Spanish for soup and also stands for the Stop Online Piracy Act.

SOPA is a bill with the expressed purposes of preventing copyrighted material from being pirated on the seas of the world wide web (there’s a Senate equivalent called the PROTECT IP Act which does many similar things and may get merged with it, but screw it, this is my first blog post in a while and I’m fatigued, DO YOUR OWN DAMN RESEARCH).

It was introduced by Representative Lamar Smith of Texas. This is what he looks like:

So, besides looking a little like Bill Gates, why does Representative Smith care about what happens on the Internet? Did he recently try to  make an honest profit from a video that was leaked on the Pirate Bay? Does his district contain a lot of families in the entertainment industry who are now facing home foreclosure because their independent films were distributed by the online equivalent of Somali machine-gun wielders?

Did the Movie and Television Lobby donate almost $60,000 to his latest campaign?

The Politicians Are Too Damn Stupid [The Rent is Too Damn High]

The following is my extremely overdue submission for a column assignment in editorial writing.

America is tired of its politicians.

It’s not hard to see why. They’re self-serving. They’re disingenuous. And, worst of all, they’re out of touch. When the majority of executive civil “servants” spend their time in governor’s mansions, Washington hotels, and White Houses, how can they appreciate one of the most pressing problems to the average working Joe?

Namely, the fact that the rent is too damn high.

Enter Jimmy McMillan in the New York Governor’s Race of 2010.

McMillan is a portly African-American man with a distinctive gray beard. He’s recently received attention for his unique debate protocol in the governor’s race. His platform is simple. The rent in New York is high. Too damn high. Mr. McMillan is also a karate expert, as he’s keen to point out, and believes in citizens’ rights to marry footwear.

Meme Killer: Kanye West is gonna let you finish

I’m sorry, but this is my favorite meme right now.

So it’s officially dead.

Welcome to Phil the Pill: Meme Killer.

First, what happened as filmed by a camera on a television:

Now, there’s obviously a lot of racial tension going on here.

The facts:
A) Taylor Swift is the first “country” act to win a VMA for “You Belong With Me”
B) Taylor Swift is white. Kanye West is black. Beyonce is black.
C) Since Obama winning the presidency, the entertainment media, once enchanted by the urban hip-hop culture, is now vigorously courting the NASCAR, rural population who are desperately seeking something to numb them from the pain of losing the White House
D) The VMAs, rather than using awards to measure quality, are an attempt to validate certain demographics and groups of fans
D) Kanye West’s career is built on defending black people from racism:

So, I submit to you the videos in question, in case you want to determine whose is the best video of all time.

First, Beyonce in “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)”

Undeniably, the video is sexually appealing. In the category of Best Legs, it would be a criminal offense to nominate other than this video. As it stands, it won Best Choreography (as it probably should have). It also won Video of the Year (questionable?). But the award that Beyonce didn’t get, the award for Best Female Video went to:

Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me.” A video with a plot, costumes, and sets. Now, iJet pragmatically points out that anyone could do what Taylor Swift does, but we could train for a million years and not be able to dance like Beyonce. But when it gets down to it:

Which video can you actually watch the whole way through without wondering if there’s anything more to it?

Also, which video didn’t borrow heavily from a popular 90’s R&B song:

And so, before we get into the meme killing, we have to objectively call Kanye’s tantrum into ethical question. It’d be one thing if he were standing up to injustice. However, as it stands, it just seems that he really, really didn’t see a 19-year-old white girl beating the Queen of black music, especially not on the year that he collaborated with the King on Blueprint 3. So, obviously, it must be racism.

…Well, he might not be entirely wrong about that one.

NASCAR advertisements on ABC. ESPN $2 million deal with the SEC college football conference. Country music before football on NBC. I refer you to point C in the facts. The culture that feels marginalized must be a very profitable demographic, because I’ve been seeing more and more attempts to play to rural America in the past few months than ever before. Maybe Kanye has too. So when the first “country” song to win a VMA has the face of a girl whiter than Fruit of the Loom off-the-rack, it very well could be a strategic MTV decision.

Much like anytime Kanye won an award was a strategic MTV decision.

Kanye owes his popularity to the image machine too and I know he’d never admit it. But, after getting slammed by the masses for his show-stealing, it seems that he was forced to come down to Earth for this one. I mean, Jay Leno brought up his dead mother. His dead mom! I felt bad for Mr. West, about to blubber on national TV because Leno swipes at him like that.

And above all, Kanye West’s little outburst has stoked the Internet to mobilize behind one deliciously awkward moment, graduating him to the status of Dead-Meme-Within-24-hours. So, because I know people are Google searching and accidentally finding my other Meme Killer entries, here is as much of the meme as I feel I can throw at the audience.

Consider Kanye West Interrupting a Dead Meme.

All images are being amalgamated on KanyeGate at Tumblr. So check it out for the latest in Meme Hell.

….*chortle*

Meme killed.

Podcast – Forced Remembrance

Here you go, Podcast Two a week after Podcast One. It’s like I’m keeping schedules or something.

This week I tackle my problems with Facebook Lite, I put in a few good words for The Blueprint 3, and discuss the heavy topic of remembering 9/11.

Music: “Empire State of Mind” featuring Alicia Keys and “Run This Town” featuring Rihanna from Jay-Z’s new album The Blueprint 3. [Sellout moment] Buy it on Amazon.com today for $3.99 [/sellout moment.]

The file should be stable now, so you can listen right here, and if you want to see prior episodes in one location you can visit my temporary hosting location. Also, the first episode is on iTunes, and I think if you subscribe, the second will come your way soon. Just search for “Phil the Pill” at the iTunes store.

Shout out to Pierce with today’s XKCD comic:

The Big Mac Index

There is no good time to do laundry. I’m not awake enough to do it in the morning. There are better things to do in the afternoon. And once I start it in the evening, I manage to forget it’s there long enough for me to be doing it until 3 in the morning.

New blog mission: Find out how to clean clothes more efficiently.

Source.

So Christopher Johnson has to work twice as long as Barack Obama once would have had to if he wanted to eat a Big Mac.

Good thing he eats cat food.

School tomorrow. And perhaps the return of regular blogging with the first Magnanimous Monday of the school year.

A friend you probably won’t like

We’re still not in the swing of things. School starts on Monday.

Photo dump.

Meerkat Mannerisms

As life is still busy, I can’t take too much time to survey the political landscape and make the innagural podcast or Fact & Philos. So we’re going to ease back into the daily blogging thing and I will probably be talking about things that actually go on in my life for the first couple of weeks of school. So to everyone who doesn’t want to know about the mundane trials of a college upperclassmen….suck it?

Tonks and I are moved in to our new apartment. She provided some nice furniture and we have Chin Chin’s loveseat to sit on as well. My room is still a mess, but the addition of a bed from Prodigal is giving it a room-type feel. One of these days I should hang my clothes. I think I’ll be going into Christiansburg in search of a desk today.

Last night, after a day of helping returning MCers move into their dorm, someone had the brilliant plan of going to Cedar Point and gettng there as it opened. I was excited for my last chance to destress before the semester started…then when the voices of reason factored in cost, time, and sleep deprivation, the exhuastation of the day hit me. No one ended up going.

And that’s the boring version of how I almost went to Cedar Point on a whim.
—–

Anyway, we’ll just do a small photo dump today. From the latest Cracked photoshop contest, the truth about textbooks in college:

Manolin the cat is very big right now, more than twice his kitten size. The next plan is to introduce him into African wildlife:

Speaking of Meerkats…

Okay, must get ready for Christiansburg. The blog will regain substance sometime after classes start.

Lazy blog: Funny church sign

Welcome Back Guide being produced all this week. So no time to blog extensively.

But at least today was a fulfilling day.

Foto Friday: Checkin’ out the G8 Assets

Today’s Foto Friday is being updated from Suburbia, as I take a weekend up north to visit friends and family.

Some good news for a change: the G8 have pledged $20 billion to farmers in poor countries. Obama is also pushing for more countries to join the decision-making group like China, India, and Brazil.

Tackling global challenges “in the absence of major powers like China, India and Brazil seems to be wrongheaded,” Obama said, adding that he looked forward to “fewer summit meetings.”

Begun in 1975 with six members, the G8 now groups the United States, Japan, Germany, France, Britain, Italy, Russia and Canada. The Italians made it a “G14” with emerging powers on the second day, then added 15 more on the third.

That enabled Obama, traveling to Ghana on his first trip to sub-Saharan Africa as president, to use the summit to push for a shift toward agricultural investment from food aid. Washington will make $3.5 billion available to the 3-year program.

“There is no reason Africa should not be self-sufficient when it comes to food,” said Obama, recalling that his relatives in Kenya live “in villages where hunger is real,” though they themselves are not going hungry.

Some would look at this rhetoric and balk at the specter of globalization. Personally, I’m all about a world community with common interests, so I’ve been impressed with Obama’s time abroad this month.

Beginning the photo spam with a G8 picture:

My favorite part is Sarkozy in both pictures, particularly him seemingly chuckling at Obama on the right.

Of course, Obama was actually turning to help someone down the steps, but if he were checking her out, can you blame the man?

Sarkozy, on the other hand, is totally a perv.

Want (click for info):

Serious moment, pictures from the ethnic riots in Urumqi, China in which both Uighur and Han Chinese suffered violent attacks. From The Big Picture.

Top 3 Pixadus pictures (I’m not sure if they’ll allow the linking this time, but let’s see):

Finally, being overrun by nuclear monsters would be worth it as long as they actually did this:

Happy Cow Appreciation Day!

The Best 4th of July YouTube Videos

Wow, the blog kind of collapsed this week, didn’t it? Well, PtP faithful, you can be content in knowing that I passed my final and got an A in comparative government, a class which pretty much tanked my GPA in 2007 and contributed to my uphill battle with academics in college. Now that I’ve proved to a certain professor that an introductory level course doesn’t require graduate level analysis in order to learn something, I can set my sights on the future with more clarity.

And hey, it’s Independence Day.

There’s many ways I could celebrate Independence Day on this blog. I could join the media ranks in commentating on Sarah Palin’s resignation and what this means for America. Or, I could actually talk about something important and pay more attention to North Korea’s missile testing. Perhaps looking into some humanitarian crises abroad. Unfortunately, my ancestral home of Colombia is currently mired in a cash-for-non-guerilla-corpses scandal. We could talk about the integrity of journalism, now that the Washington Post has attempted to sell access to the President, legislators, etc. in order to save its declining newspaper industry.

Unfortunately for anyone seeking substance, my mind is definitely on holiday. So, instead, I will bring you the best videos to watch on Independence Day. Some you may find appropriately reverent. Some not.

We will, hopefully, return to our regular scheduled media watching and issue discussion by next week.

Happy Fourth.

Because we all could use a geography refresher.

Because Latinos ARE America.

Combining two of the most American things: Captain American and jingoism.

Hey, don’t be upset. I never made a blog post for Canada Day.

In honor of the U.S.A. soccer team’s good show at the FIFA confederation cup, Landon Donovan: a true American hero.

Also American as Apple Pie: Top Gear.

That’s all I have for right now. Heading to Salem and Roanoke to celebrate the 4th with Fox (formerly Pocahontas).

Happy Independence Day!