TechnoBuzz: Google Wave and Bing

Disclaimer: On a scale of retarded to Linux, I rank about a Justin Long, so my web savviness isn’t top notch. However, ever since jumping on the Twitter bandwagon, I acknowledge my helplessness in the face of web trendiness and that I will always be a couple of steps behind. Thus, I should start keeping an eye on Google Wave and Bing.

Google Wave is the latest step in Google’s attempts to take over the Internet. I think it’s basically a response to Twitter and claims that it was “revolutionizing the way people communicate online” (thanks, easily impressed, sadly near-sighted web media). So Google decided to actually revolutionize the way people communicate online.

I know I've been on an irrelevant picture kick lately, but I think we're going to have to get used to it.

From Google’s official Wave site:

What is a wave?

A wave is equal parts conversation and document. People can communicate and work together with richly formatted text, photos, videos, maps, and more.

A wave is shared. Any participant can reply anywhere in the message, edit the content and add participants at any point in the process. Then playback lets anyone rewind the wave to see who said what and when.

A wave is live. With live transmission as you type, participants on a wave can have faster conversations, see edits and interact with extensions in real-time.

Screenshots:

Here at Google, we know you like INFORMATION OVERLOAD. So here's a BUTT-TON of it.

You know those boring videos Gregory posts on Facebook? Now he can constantly send them your way! Also, find out what a Gregory history is. And meet guys named Ged!

Yeah, we know no one plays chess anymore, but it'd be bad PR to explicitly state that you can use the API for new forms of depraved pornographic interaction (psst, wanna know a secret? You can.).

So it’s sort of like having Microsoft Office, IM, e-mail, and social media all in one place?

….Blegh.

Listen, I’m a fan of some integration. TweetDeck, for example, does a good job of getting all your Twitter stuff organized (since it desperately needed it) and involving Facebook. And I can see where an easier way to send documents and media without having to switch around IM and e-mail would be useful. But this idea of constantly seeing what the other person is working on and collaborating on boring shit like Docs? Mmm…

I’m not saying it won’t catch on, because, frankly, I never know what’ll catch on. I wasn’t big on Facebook when I first started and I didn’t get Twitter even during my first Tweets and now I’m a regular user of both. I just know that personally, my problem is that I have too much shit going on at the same time as it is. This just seems like it would exacerbate my procrastination and focus problems.

I’m sure Google will release a YouTube video that isn’t 80 minutes long and actually looks interesting.

Moving on to Bing, Microsoft has, perhaps correctly, deduced that they can encroach on a slice of Google’s limitless, but disorganized potential.

Heyyyyy, there, Internet. We're Microsoft. Yeah, yeah, the MSN guys. Let's talk.

Frankly, Bing creeps me out. I don’t like the assumptions it makes about me. Take their welcome letter:

You probably didn’t wake up today expecting an entirely new search experience.

But – Bing! – here it is.

…While more searchable information is cool, nearly half of all searches don’t result in the answer that people are seeking.

At the same time, the way the world searches is changing. You want more than just information. You want knowledge that leads to action.

The truth is you’ve evolved. It’s time search caught up.

I’ve evolved? I thought that took a long time or something. Also, thanks for clarifying the meaning of your name. It’s cute. No, really, I’m not patronizing you, Bing. Okay, maybe a little.

Blogger #57841 to reference this pun.

I guess the idea is that Google represents the Wild Wild West. It’s endless. It’s untamed. It’s fun. And Microsoft wants to plop a Big F’in Railroad and give the Internet a corporate makeover. Don’t get me wrong, I see the convenience factor — it’d be nice to see where you can park when visiting a city. But, uh…does absolutely everything have to be handed to me on a silver platter?

I guess this is me being a generational elitist, but…I know how to find things I need on Google or databases, generally. Yeah, it might take more time without Bing’s algorithms or whatever, but sometimes I come across really interesting dribble. It gives my Google searches character. Bing…wants to turn my playground into a mall. Bing says I’m a teenager now. Less exploring, more consuming.

And if Bing succeeds, Google won’t have a choice but to imitate or perish.

Here’s their creepy video.

…It’s making my decisions? *shudder*

There are times when I think Google needs to back off, but today I say…Google…please come up with a response….What? What are you doing? Are you saying hello? You’re…you’re waving at me. Wave. Oh…

Bada-Bing.
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Currently listening to: 21st Century Breakdown by Green Day. Review post coming up.

Up next today: Foto Friday.

Google Watch, Pakistan Watch, Kirk-Watch

All I have left is a judicial process take-home test, but it’s a doozy and my brain is dying.

So keeping it brief.

Google-Apple Monopoly Watch. Google CEO Eric Schmidt says it’s no big deal.

In a media session held Thursday before Google’s shareholders meeting in Mountain View, Schmidt said he hasn’t considered stepping down from Apple’s board because he doesn’t view the maker of the iPhone, iPod and computers as a “primary competitor.” He echoed that sentiment when a shareholder later asked him to step down from Apple’s board to avoid further government scrutiny.

…Walker told reporters that Google is “comfortable” that it doesn’t generate enough revenue in the same markets as Apple for Schmidt’s and Levinson’s dual roles on the companies’ boards to violate antitrust law.

Color me cynical. But I think antitrust laws are antitrust laws. They’re both tech. They’re both producing phones. It’s the principle of the thing. It sets a bad precedent. I think both these companies are good for the future of tech…they should set a good example.

Switching gears to Pakistan watch. Warring in the Swat Valley is producing thousands of refugees and people who are stuck in the middle of the violence.

A half a million people have either already left the Swat Valley and nearby districts or want to leave but can’t because of the fighting, Pakistani officials and the U.N. say, bringing the number of people likely to be displaced due to anti-militant offensives across Pakistan‘s volatile northwest region to 1 million.

..

Tens of thousands of people remain trapped in Mingora. Some have said the Taliban are not allowing them to leave, perhaps because they want to use them as “human shields” and make the army unwilling to use force.

“We want to leave the city, but we cannot go out because of the fighting,” said one resident, Hidayat Ullah. “We will be killed, our children will be killed, our women will be killed and these Taliban will escape.”

“Kill terrorists, but don’t harm us,” he pleaded.

Reading that gives me a pit in my stomach…I don’t feel good about the situation in Afghanistan and Pakistan at all. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the U.S. have some sort of involvement in this fighting. I mean, it’s the Big Bad Taliban and part of Obama’s plan to “refocus” on Afghanistan. But if we’re getting civilians tangled up in this, what do you think that will do to the perceptions abroad that we’re supposedly trying to fix with this new administration?

Where do you think terrorists come from, anyway?

I have no problem with Pakistan taking control of its country. But you don’t make things more stable by killing your innocents. Being humane reaps a lot more benefits than merely a clear conscience.
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Today’s controversy: Star Trek, which I am seeing tonight in Christiansburg. Since it’s not a real controversy, here’s a video from Not a real news network:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Noncompetitive behavior is the new Cool.

Phil the Pill Trying to Stay in College Edition. Today’s brief topic is:

The FTC investigating Apple and Google for violating the Clayton Antitrust Act. Both Google and Apple’s board share members – Eric Schmidt and Arthur Levinson. At the end of the day, it probably won’t be a big deal — but the board members may have to resign from one of the companies.

To get some insight into this, let’s turn to our Corporate Ethics expert, the Mac Guy. What do you think, Mac Guy?

“Hey, man, why is the FTC getting so bent out of shape? It’s Apple. It’s not like you’re dealing with Steve Ballmer here. I mean, that guy is a proven crook. You can tell by the fact that he wears ties. And why would Apple ever do anything against competition? Apple would soundly beat anyone in a straight competition – and it would look cool doing it. For the past six years Apple has been directly competing with Microsoft by selling $2800 prosumer computers and mocking $800 laptop PCs. And they won! They are now officially considered cooler. That’s how you win a competition. But, I digress. Apple doesn’t want anything to do with Google, man. Those guys are ****ing scary. I suspect those board members aren’t even humans, man. They’re the real prototype for the Google Android. Google is keeping tabs on Apple and if there’s anything fishy going on, it’s their doing. But even if Apple and Google were collaborating, what’s the big deal, man? They’re both hip. They’re both cool. I mean, don’t you want to get with the YouTunes movement? And hey, with Google iPirate, you’ll be able to get any Microsoft software for free. And if you combine the iPhone and the Andorid, you get an Autobot, no lie….Whoa, man. I don’t WANT the FTC to get involved in this. This would be wicked sweet. Only lamers would oppose antitrusts. Unless Microsoft is involved. Then it’s obviously illegal and unethical and an example of the Man trying to screw the Consumer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to pay my Macbook Battery tax. I’ve got 15 minutes before my battery is programmed to explode.”

Disclaimer: I love my Macbook. Please don’t take it away from me, Apple.

Also, a word on Justice Souter retiring…Hispanic woman justice, woot woot?